Feminest

I had read about it on the Knot and in other bridal magazines and assumed it would happen to me knowing how obsessed I was about weddings.  I figured that I would suffer from some PWD (post wedding depression).  I obsessed over minute details; of course, I would be depressed when October 12 came around and the whole thing was over.

Honestly though, I have not felt depressed that the wedding is over.  

But how could that be?  Oh, I’ll admit that I had a complete and total blast, and it was wonderful (still is) to hear compliments about how well the wedding was executed.  I told Bigbad that I wish we could do it all over again (barring the huge expense) year after year, and that I was eagerly going to plan our 10 year anniversary party.  

But in all honesty, I can’t be depressed much.  It was a fantastic (dare I say perfect) day.  I cannot complain one iota, so why should I be depressed?  It was one day.  It will always be one marvelous-omg, I can’t believe this is really happening-how cool-obnoxiously sweet day.  But it will always be one.

And I have plenty of other one days to be thankful for and eagerly awaiting.  I’m anxious for that one day when we find out we will go from DINKs (duel income no kids) to starting a family, that one day when a new wolf cub enters our den, that one day I see my sister graduate college, that one day I see Smallgood Marmie graduate, that one day we buy our very own house, that one day I get to hug my grandparents on their 60th anniversary, that one day that I get my dream job, etc.  Why should I be depressed when I have all of that to look forward to?

Supposedly, to beat post wedding blues (according to this article on the Nest), Bigbad and I are supposed to be taking a break.  Hmmm…that would have been great advice to deal with the anxiety I’ve been feeling lately, but I need a break from work and my normal life…not a break from weddings.  The planning is done now; everything is complete.  All I have to do is cement it in my memory the best way I know how and cherish it.  Reading about other people’s weddings doesn’t make me jealous or bummed; just the opposite, I smile and remember my own day with Bigbad and the commitment we made.

Steps 2 and 3 were to Be Real and Talk it Out.  Helpful advice that seems very natural for us as we have been together for so long and went through couples counseling.  Bigbad and I are naturally realistic (or pessimistic depending on the mood) and have very realistic expectations.  We talk about everything and all of our feelings so that nothing comes as a surprise.

The last nugget of wisdom was to spend some alone time doing things you enjoy.  Bigbad and I learned this early on in our relationship.  He has his interests that are important to him and keep him sane, and I have mine.  There are a few hours in the day where we may simply co-exist contently rather than be demanding one on one time from one another.  It makes us both happy I think to enjoy our independent hobbies and then come together again with fresh energy and a renewed state of mind.

And if I could add a suggestion to the article, a piece of my own advice for not getting caught in the post wedding depression, I would say, “celebrate the new beginning.”  Make time to celebrate that first dinner at home as husband and wife, celebrate that name change (if there is one), celebrate that first time you call him husband, celebrate that first holiday together as a married couple.  Heck, I’m celebrating this first election and a chance to vote with my new husband.  And I’ll be celebrating this spring when we file taxes together for the first time.  Hoorah!

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